No Words

Found in Google Docs, with many other word spurts, spreadsheets and kind notes I sent to others to help them along the way, and words of love when my heart was pure. I used to be so helpful, I really do love people’s stories. When the dust settles, all we have are our stories.

I am not good, but I try to be.

No Words

Written May 2013, Edited August 2016

Silent tears in a dark room…lying beside a shadowless wall.

Alone, but not alone…still, the only silhouette is my own.

I need some space, but I have too much room. Scales

I need clearer air, yet I keep spraying perfume, the expensive kind.

I wanted a heart, and I wanted it soon, things seemed simpler without it

It seems like I wanted it at a distance…as if it was a figurative moon. Product of October.

Strength is relative, and weakness isn’t real

Sometimes wounds are bandaged, before they have time to heal.

Distractions come quick, and when you least expect

Obstacles are added right when you take a minute to rest.

I smile because  Im supposed to, and make my hair look nice

I enjoy the company…but Im still by myself when I turn off the lights

Feelings are unpredictable, and the weather can always change

Taking in the surprises, trying to enjoy the ride

Im trying to steer a boat, but it gets overtaken by the tide.

You asked me to leave my battle and join your army to win the war

but even if the war is won, it seems like we are walking through separate doors.

You teach me the skills I need, and wisdom beyond our age

You teach me how to shoot, but the target is out of my range.

A corporate strategy, with an artistic heart

I cant seem to focus on the love, bc Im so busy trying to learn how to play my part.

I hate to love, I love to hate

Its easier to walk the other way, than squeeze through a half opened gate.

I was looking for myself, and you found me lost

But did you consider you finding me would come at such a cost.

Im not angry, hurt perhaps.

I cant stay up all night, if you dont allow me to take naps.

I had a false sense of security before…and now I have less…

Im getting tired, but there is no time to rest.

I smile because Im supposed to, and make my hair look nice

But I never buy a car, without first looking at the price.

No words.

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