Monday, January 4th, 2016
So I’m not really sure if it’s too late to do a Lessons of 2015 blog post, but it’s 3 in the morning, I only slept for two hours, so what better thing to do than write? I’m going to recount a story, one that had many sad moments, but one that had a million new happy memories that made 2015 worth while. Through this story, and this year, I learned three major lessons:
Timing is never Right.
Trust the facts.
When in doubt, speak up.
At the start of the year, I was sitting at yet another crucial crossroad, forced to make another major life decision…and I wasn’t quite up to it. I was sick of love, probably still sick in love (loosely), and I felt like I really had to start making some hard yes and no decisions.
As the story went, boy fell in love with girl, girl reluctantly believed boy, girl falls in love with boy…they were absolutely terrible for each other; neither wanted to admit it….and kaboom; TNT, war zone. This may be the first time I have ever stated that the said boy and girl were “terrible for each other,” taking some responsibility for the series of very fortunate events.
So 2015 started, and girl was finally getting over boy. Like major breakthrough moments…because she was aware that there was clearly something better in front of her, and was finally ready to look at the facts. Said girl, is me. The fantastical love story in my mind was quickly fading…the weekend getaways were over, no more flowers to my job…no more Tiffany’s boxes. I was ok with that, for a moment. I looked at the details, I did a gap analysis and identified lessons learned. because Duh, I’m a Management Consultant and I do this with everything. As nice as those things are, fluff can be deceiving….if the foundation is rocky, none of that matters. Time doesn’t care, things happen exactly when they should. Fluff and flowers do not matter as much as we’d like to think. Fluff doesn’t create loyalty and truth. What does matter, are facts. Cold, hard facts.
Here is the trouble about facts…they are real. Facts are truths, according to Webster, “something that has actual existence.” They are very real. Here’s the thing about love, well, real love…it is also very real. It stands the tests of time, it does not deceive, it does not dwell in doubt, and as things change,it changes too…it adapts, it’s malleable, and it doesn’t just give up. The only real truth about love…is that it hurts. It hurts really bad, and so does fake love. Love is also a choice, not just one, but more like a series of continuous choices. From my experience, and the events of my said soap opera, real love is worth every ounce of the pain. In the same moment it hurts…like hell, it also heals.
Back to the story…The romance bug bit me rather late in life….and I wasn’t a hopeless romantic, ever, until I was. But I am not sure if hopeless romance was based on fact. Though romance and fairytales make me happy, I’m a Facts Queen *Fetty Wap voice*. Hopeless romance seems like a failed attempt to juggle fact, fiction, and fantasy. In 2015, I learned that the fiction and fantasy part of that game, is what makes it a losing one. The early months of the year were passing ever so slowly. I was still crying myself to sleep, wondering what, how, why, and for how long. The idea of a new relationship didn’t seem awful, but the timing wasn’t right. I finally started getting my act together, I redirected my energy and thoughts away from being alone and I started doing what I do best; create. I had been really taking care of self, not much worrying about the aforementioned boy, but I had some time to think on another…because facts. To my dismay, the the timing wasn’t right. I’m not one to interfere with the universe, but sometimes I know that I know things. But because of time, I kept creating…because that is a pretty good way to pass it.
A series of, give or take, unfortunate or fortunate events led to another crossroad, and decision point. This is the point in the year where I learned two of the biggest lessons of life and love to date. The first being, that the timing is never right. It is never ideal, it is never comfortable, it just is. The second being, facts are very important. when you come to the table with facts, sometimes you can add some fantasy and fairytale, and it turns out to be better than before.
Back to the story. I had a very grown up, very fact based conversation with someone who was very close to me. Closer than I knew, and that one conversation changed the course of the year. It was scary af…but I can honestly say it is one of the better decisions I have during this trial and error called life. This particular one conversation led to the third and final, yet recurring lesson of the year, which was…you have to speak up and speak out. Not just on love, but on doubts and insecurities, on pains and on pleasures. This release will keep you from losing your mind, and slowing dying on the inside.
In the course of these lessons, I found new, fact based love. Because sometimes new love comes in the midst of the hardest lessons, and even in the shadow of a love we once thought was guaranteed. It happened, and it was scary, but it was good.The timing wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t comfortable to speak up, but I had my facts. When in doubt, and when you are forced to make some hard decisions, that were not in your plans, and were not comfortable, remember that nothing bad comes from dealing in truth. Truth and love can break through anything…it is the lies that we tell ourselves, and that others tell us that tend to cut things short. There is no perfect time…but there is no better time than now.
Speak up, shoot your shot, and cheers to 2016.
Monday, October 26th, 2015
October is my favorite Month. Its the first full month of Fall and my Birthday Month! This year I celebrated my 25th birthday in my home city of Washington, D.C. and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Though I wished to travel abroad, spending time at home with my friends and family was more than I could ask for. On Friday night, I had a family dinner at Mike’s American Grill in Springfield, VA. If you’re ever in the area, and want solid American cuisine, it never disappoints.
On Saturday, my boyfriend celebrated his birthday ( almost #birthdaytwinning). We had dinner at Del Frisco’s Steakhouse in the new Center City, located downtown. As a self-proclaimed steak connoisseur, Ive tasted my fair share of beef. I must say, Del Frisco’s may be best Ive ever had. Its a very upscale chic evening spot, bustling with the city’s tastemakers, lawmakers, and influencers alike. As a five star restaurant, you’re surely paying for what you get. From the service, to the view, it was worth every penny.
Though I was slightly bummed that I wasn’t going to be in Paris my birthday week (this trip is still in the works), I experienced Paris right at home! My second favorite thing after Paris, is Brunch…so why not combine the two? My favorite brunch spot in the city, Malmaison, is tucked away in a cut right by the Potomac River in Georgetown. Adorned with a Parisian ambiance, with black and whit interiors and perfect crown molding, it is everything, plus some! Mimosas, Macarons, and Crepes!? Hello, Paris. Deron and I welcomed 14 guests, as we sat in a private section and sipped on bottomless mimosas. French toast, omelets, and a live cellist. I was sitting on Cloud 9! Every worry, I had was gone. I had a fantastic weekend with the people who loved me most, and I was able to meditate on everything trial and triumph God has blessed me with. The Chic cherry on top, just made everything so much better, and my fringe skirt!
Here’s a glimpse my weekend! Thank you all for following along with me as I blog and share, and figure it out.
Oh, and how can I forget? Happy 2nd Blogiversary 2nd and L.
Special thanks to my friends and family, my amazing blessing of a boyfriend, and my Designer/Fashionista Extraoridnaire Yanique Moore!
What Im Wearing:
1. Crop Top- Missguided 2. Fringe Skirt – MissGuided 3. Heels-ZARA
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
Fall has paid us a visit, and has brought all of my favorite things with her! Pumpkin Spice Lattes, apples, and soft hues that blend in with the leaves on the ground. The most important thing about Fall is LAYERS! Last Saturday, I took a quick trip to Shepheardstown, West Virginia, for a college football game. The town was so quaint and serene, with antique aesthetics that matched perfectly with my outfit.
I layered an oversized Plaid Flannel, with some ripped jeans and my go-to Camel Coat. Have I told you all that camel goes with anything!? Because it does…try it out and let me know what you think.
I borrowed (jk, its mine now), this comfy Plaid flannel from my favorite style authority, also known as the boyfriend. Blogger extraordinaire and Branding/ Marketing Strategist in his own right; he happens to be the Editor-in-Chief of District Men. What better way to layer, than incorporate menswear and give it a chic touch! For more of the latest on Life and Style in the District, follow him @Deron.Dmv, and join us in our excursions through style, travel, satire, and good eats!
Wbat Im Wearing;
More of my Misfits
Wednesday, October 14th, 2015
Must Haves: Nubian Skin Lingerie
The “Nubian Skin”, lingerie campaign took our Instagram feeds by storm, and the common consensus was a resounding, “Yasssss!” followed by the ever so necessary #BlackGirlMagic hashtag. Nubian Skin, the lingerie line that caters to women of color, thrilled social media with the vibrant photos of beautiful black women. The models were adorned in luxurious lace, and comfy cotton that blended so perfectly with their brown skin tones, offering a glimpse of hope for women of color who couldn’t seem to ever find an appropriate “nude tone” for undergarments. As I have come into adulthood, Vickie’s has always been my go to spot for my unmentionables. It’s quick, convenient, familiar and those Semi Annual sales definitely don’t hurt my bank account. I was ready to step my game up a bit and I’m not sure that I’m quite ready for La Perla, but I was definitely willing to try something new!
I’m always eager to support Black entrepreneurs, especially women, so supporting the brand was a definite no-brainer! After doing some research and scoping out locations and online stores that sold the product, I knew I had to splurge! I skimmed the campaign a few times, trying to figure out which shade of brown was the best match for me! I decided on the ‘Cinnamon Brown’, which was just perfect! With the tagline, “A Different Kind of Nude,” I was beyond pleased with the color I chose, and the variety of other options the brand has to offer! I had already filled my online Shopping Cart at ASOS, so I decided to purchase the product from there.
Wait…did I mention that they don’t just have lingerie!? If lace is not your thing, don’t you fret. Nubian Skin offers hosiery, t-shirt bras that blend seamlessly under anything, and cotton panties for the simpler days! Take a look at their site, skim through the pages…they have an awesome blog, as well as a swatch page that will help you find which tone best matches yours.
So, Thank you Ade Hassan, and thank you Nubian Skin, for thinking about us. Thank you for giving us our own, and acknowledging that our brown looks a little different! Thank you for embracing our melanin and our #BlackGirlMagic
Tuesday, October 6th, 2015
Mikala (MKSavestheDay) and I back at you with collab! (Oh yea, this is a thing now) As we are approaching our Quarter Century mark, we sat down and agreed on the lessons we’ve learned. The good, the bad, and the brilliant. Dear Twenty Somethings…you are not alone.
Twenty Five Things We Learned by 25
1. Patience Pays Whatever is meant to be will find it’s way. There are no shortcuts.
2.Work hard, Be Consistent Consistency and much effort shows interest. Apply it to every aspect in life.
3.Use your Manners, even when you don’t want to We know people suck sometimes, that doesn’t mean you should too. Be polite.
4.Complaining Doesn’t Change Anything, Remain Grateful There’s not much more to this. Stop complaining, it really could be worse.
5.Heartbreaks Help You’ll look back and laugh…walk into that glo up. If they don’t love you, so what…their loss.
6.Never stop Learning Read a book. With words. Words you’ve never seen before. Then find a different one. And repeat.
7.Give equal attention to your body, soul, and mind Go to the gym (Do those squats), eat those veggies, and say your prayers. You are responsible for you.
8.Remain coachable — You don’t know everything No one likes a smart ass…Sometimes you’ve got to shut up and take the constructive criticism…you’ll understand one day.
9.You’re going to mess up…often. Sadly, we aren’t perfect beings. Find comfort in knowing that everyone is vulnerable at some point.
10.Listen to your first instinct If it feels right, you’ll know. Life has a funny way of making you repeat lessons you failed to learn, the first time around. Trust your gut.
11.Meditate Peace and Quiet is good, take some time to release those woes…who wants to be dragging with a Bag Lady?
12.People are going to hurt your feelings, get over it You hurt people’s feelings too…Don’t play coy…See the shade and walk the other way
13.Be kind and remain genuine You never know what internal battle someone is facing.
14.Go the extra mile You’ll be glad you did tomorrow.
15.Men are not mind readers It’d be nice if they were…but they aren’t. So speak up. They have no problem with establishing their boundaries or voicing their concerns…so start communicating (some are listening)
16.Organization is Key Stay up a little later or wake a little earlier. Make sure you declutter and have mental clarity…It’ll make your days go alot smoother
17.Proper planning is also key…Don’t procrastinate What are you waiting for? If you can play…you can plan, keep yourself in check.
18.Talk less…Listen More (Everything doesn’t require a response) Just be quiet sometimes.
19.Choose your battles wisely You can’t fight the world.
20.Everything isn’t for everybody…Don’t be a “get with” If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it. If you’re not feeling it…move on.
21.Protect your heart, peace, and energy Above all else…this is LAW
22.Everyone is not going to like you You’ll also begin to care less about this, and grow to love yourself more.
23.Save more money, the mall isn’t going anywhere Chances are, you don’t need another pair of boyfriend jeans
24.Listen to your parents…they are right about most things They may be losing their hearing and patience at rapid speeds, but they wouldn’t steer you wrong.
25.Keep your head up, sweet heart…you’ve got more to do. Turn the tragedies into triumphs. You only lose if you give up.
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